Could I have watched this with my Dad? : Sure.
Could I have watched this with my Mom? : I guess.
Language: A few f-bombs and some other language throughout.
Sex/Romance: There is a brief moment of almost romance that seems really weird and shoved in there.
Violence/Gore: Violence, yeah. Gore, not so much.
Music: Atli Örvarsson? What? I just learned about you and now here you are! How funny!
Did I feel the need to leave the lights off and sit in silence afterward? : Maybe to contemplate what the heck had just happened.
Was there a food pairing? : Yes, we ordered Abuelo's, and eating that meal was *euphoric*.
Thoughts: The world was very interesting and actually felt pretty well developed. The characters were intriguing and felt like they had some background. And, of course, I love Vin Diesel no matter what. Just know that ↓this↓ wasn't his fault.
I was really engaged and interested in the story most of the way through. Things were going pretty good, and then there were a few kinda weird moments. An awkward character interaction, a moment that felt very out of place and very forced. And then we hit the climax of the plot, and rather than blowing my mind it...snapped the neck of my mind if that makes sense. We were moving along pretty well and I was still involved and curious as to how the heck they were going to explain everything and wrap it all up and then it took such a sudden, sharp, weird turn that I just kinda went-
I was extremely confused, weirded out, and dissatisfied.
And if you want to get a feel for how weird the movie turns, just read the synopsis of the book from Amazon. (SOME SMALL SPOILERS INVOLVED) "Toorop, a hard-boiled leatherneck veteran, has been hired to escort a young woman from Russia to Canada. But Marie is no ordinary girl. A schizophrenic and a possible carrier of a new artificial virus, Marie is bearing a mutant embryo created by an American cult, which dreams of producing a genetically modified messiah that will end all human life as we know it. Now, Toorop will risk his life to save Marie, as her brain, linking to the neuromatrix, surpasses all limits to become the universe itself." And the movie doesn't even cover all of that. It kind of just stops in the middle of all these crazy, unexplained elements. It all felt very cobbled together and not at all thought out. I was highly disappointed.
Was this a good use of a night with the house to myself? : No. And my poor friend had to go through that, too!
In the End: 1 out of 5 stars.