Could I have watched this with my Dad? : I wouldn't subject him to it (But yes, I could).
Could I have watched this with my Mom? : No.
Language: Plenty of language up to and including lots of the f-word.
Sex/Romance: Some romance, no sex, and one scene with a lot of full-frontal topless women.
Violence/Gore: Yes to both. It came in rather shockingly brutal bursts.
Music: An interesting mish-mash.
Did I feel the need to leave the lights off and sit in silence afterward? : Nope.
Was there a food pairing? : Stir fry. A classic.
Thoughts: First off, the movie took about 45 minutes to even get to the point of the plot. Forty. Five. Minutes. And believe me, they were long minutes. The pace of the movie felt like a -8. We were practically moving backward. The only breaks were the very sudden bursts of extreme, gory violence that would last a few seconds, and then we would go right back to crawling.
The characters weren't really given much exposition at all, so from the start I had no reason to care about anybody involved. The characters also were super shallow and saw no development. Their interactions were all so awkward and unrealistic I was cringing any time two people shared a scene. Put three people in and I was almost getting nauseous.
The story was weak and had very little going on. I honestly believe what story there was could have been done better as a 30-minute short film.
Was this a good use of a night with the house to myself? : No. It was an upsetting waste.
In the End: 1 out of 5 stars just because Ryan Gosling is super hot with those gloves...