Movie Reviews - A Guide

Character Sketches - to help you understand what it means when I say if I could or couldn't watch it with Mom or with Dad, and to let you know where I'm coming from with my reviews.

Mom: Possibly the sweetest thing alive. Can't handle a lot of intensity or darkness in a movie. Also doesn't do well with violence, and gore is a no-go. Doesn't like language or sex/sexual jokes, and will only put up with very little before she will leave a movie. Mind-benders keep her up at night, and she will wake up my Dad to make him talk about the movie with her. Does best with lighter films.

Dad: What a great guy. Fine with intensity and darkness. Also fine with violence and gore. Doesn't like language either, but handles it better and will put up with a lot if the movie is good enough. Sex scenes are a no-go, but sexual jokes will be endured if the movie is good enough. Likes a good action flick or war movie. Loves a good mind-bender.

Me: I actually really like the dark and intense sometimes. Errementari would be a good example. I will watch some thrillers, but absolutely do not do horror. I don't like it, but I'm OK with language (but I prefer none), and will tune out a lot for a good movie. Sex and sexual jokes make me extremely uncomfortable if I'm alone, but I will literally squirm in my seat if I'm watching with someone else. I have to be psychologically prepared if I'm going to watch a war movie that I know doesn't end well, or that has a lot of deaths in general. If I'm not careful, a war movie can put me in a major funk. Hate romance with a passion. I literally shut my eyes if characters kiss on-screen. Love a good mind-bender or action flick. Fine with violence and a fair amount of gore. Love to crank the volume when I can.

Types of movie nights - so you know what kind of movie a review is reviewing.

Guy Movie nights: Usually R-rated movies, war movies, mind-benders, or really just anything too intense for my mom. (We only call them guy movies because originally only my Dad could watch them when he was alone or with other guys, but then I grew up and loved action movies and violence, etc. and all of a sudden it wasn't just for the guys anymore. But my mom still can't handle them, so we still call them guy movies. Hence, Guy Movie nights.)

Family Watches: Movies that we a family. PG-13 and below. Generally lighter movies with little to no language, sex/sexual jokes, and usually fairly low intensity.

Home Alones: Movies I watch alone will not be labeled per se, their reviews will just be the title of the movie. I typically watch R-rated or especially dark movies when alone, since I'm not able to watch those on the big screen with the volume cranked when my parents are home. I usually try to ensure that the movie I'm watching could not be watched as a family (bare minimum requirement for a home alone movie), and second I usually try to make sure that Dad wouldn't care to see it either. Some nights I don't meet the second level requirement, but usually the movie is pretty intense or mind-bending and I appreciate having watched it alone anyway. (A lot of times just another person's presence can keep my emotions in check, and sometimes I don't want that. Sometimes I want to fully feel every single little thing the movie is making me feel.)

Go forth armed with knowledge, now, my friend!