Could I have watched this with my Dad? : Yeah.
Could I have watched this with my Mom? : Yeah.
Language: Some mild language throughout.
Sex/Romance: Some steamy moments and making out.
Violence/Gore: Some of both, but nothing excessive.
Music: Very modern-action-movie-esque.
Did I feel the need to leave the lights off and sit in silence afterward? : Nope.
Was there a food pairing? : The last of the leftovers.
Thoughts: While I do love Taron Egerton, this movie was not a hit for me.
The whole thing was very modern, and while that can be good, for me it felt unsettlingly modern. Like it was so close to modern but not quite. Almost Uncanny Valley but for modern-ness instead of humanity. It was weird, OK. The story and original time period are pretty specific and instead we got very modernized elements shoved in and what felt a bit like elements of The Capitol from the Hunger Games thrown in as well.
It definitely felt like part of the reason for the modernization was to push how similar events are to today. And I get it, events are a bit similar, but it really felt like it was being forced on me again and again how really this is a story about today, don't you see it? If things really are so similar you shouldn't have to force it onto people so aggressively. You tell the story and if you've done it right/well then people should be able to recognize on their own the similarities or common themes, etc.
Marian was weak. Not physically, but as a character she was frustratingly weak. Her story was focused around the men she was with, and outside of that she had almost no point but to be either support or motivation for the men. Oh, but she took initiative and did her own thing and tried to help with her side plot! Do you mean that side plot that took maybe 2 minutes and did jack all for the real plot? What she did had almost zero impact on the rest of the story. And anything she might have accomplished had to be handled by the boys to be of any worth. She was just there to look pretty, make out with the boys, and be their motivation for good or ill. Disgusting.
There was no real time for character relationships to develop. Things moved so quickly and through montages and such that you never really felt a length of time such as would be needed for these "relationships" to grow and develop.
The villain actually had trauma/abuse in their backstory. I was hopeful that meant we would get more depth and nuance and more of an antagonist instead of just a straight villain, but instead all they did with that was let the protagonist use it against the villain. And when they did I even exclaimed out loud, "That was a low blow." WHY IS YOUR HERO USING SOMEONE'S ABUSE AGAINST THEM?? WHY IS ROBIN HOOD USING PAST TRAUMA TO TAUNT HIS ANTAGONIST?? YOU DON'T DO THAT UNLESS YOU WANT TO EXPOSE SOME PRETTY NASTY THINGS ABOUT THE CHARACTER OF YOUR PROTAGONIST.
I see the logic in only having a few main characters to focus on, but so much of Robin Hood's story is about him and his band of merry men. Characters just seemed very out of context as they tried to "re-invent" the story.
<<<<<SPOILERS>>>>> Character development on Will was bull. It felt wrong, forced, and weak. He was a guy who Marian loved for probably at least a year, so she should have known him pretty well. He is all about standing up for his people and being their voice and speaking up for them even if it was dangerous, but then as soon as he sees Marian kissing Robin (with NO CONTEXT) he loses it and becomes a full-on villain? REALLY? First off, Marian somehow either ignored this weakness in him (stupid), didn't see it (willfully ignorant), or loved him anyway (all the worse for Marian's character). None of these options seem correct for Marian. And second, it just felt like poor writing that couldn't come up with anything better. <<<<<END SPOILERS>>>>>
And finally, I guess this was meant to be more of an origin story for Robin? We didn't make much progress in his story, only just moving to the woods of Sherwood at the close of the movie, and the story we did get felt a bit rushed and action-focused overall.
Was this a good use of a night with the house to myself? : Meh.
In the End: 2 out of 5 stars. Average at best.