Second Chances

Do you believe in second chances? Do people deserve second chances? Does fate allow for second chances? Do people that deserve second chances ever have their wish granted by Fate or karma?

Exposition: You know, there are a lot of things that I would LOVE a second chance at. Most of my life, in fact. But there is one thing in particular that really bugs me over and over again. The day I met Nathan Fillion.

In case you don't know, Nathan Fillion is this ↓ beautiful man...

Look at that face.... This gorgeous man happens to be the star of Firefly which may just be the best TV show of all time. He has done a lot of other stuff as well, such as Castle, Gravity Falls, Much Ado About Nothing, The Guild, Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, etc. But I will always love him as Captain Malcolm Reynolds.

The Story: When I was in highschool I got invited to my very first comicon. I made the trip to Dallas with two good friends. The three of us had recently binge-watched all of Firefly together. We knew the cast of Firefly would be there, and we were super pumped. When we got there I was immediately overwhelmed by how huge and busy and amazing and awesome and chaotic the con was. I had never seen anything like it! The closest I had ever been to something like this was the homeschool book fair when I was younger (don't laugh it is a big deal for us homeschoolers!). We attended a session with the entire cast of Firefly minus 1, and afterward we made our way to the line to get our picture taken with one of the cast members (not Nathan Fillion, 'cause he was sold out [and also extremely expensive]). Before we got there though, I jumped in the line to get Nathan's autograph. I had recently bought a shirt with a Firefly fandom reference on it from a cool website where anyone who wants to can sell their designs (, and was currently wearing it. This was what I wanted autographed. I was freaking out the whole way through the line. Now this was back in my super shy and quiet days (I say that like that's not still me 50% of the time). I finally reach Nathan Fillion. HE SHAKES MY HAND. I was starstruck. I meet him and tell him I would like my shirt autographed, please. He comments that he has never seen my shirt before. (That's huge! In a fandom with so many rabid fans, I'm sure he's seen nearly every variation of fandom t-shirt under the sun. But he hasn't seen my t-shirt before?!!) I pointed out where I would like the shirt signed, please. He gently pulls the shirt away from my skin to sign it (I wanted it signed somewhat near my heart). And that's it. I thank him and freak out as I leave the line. THAT'S. IT. I couldn't think of a single thing to say to him?!! I couldn't think of any response to his super cool comment on my shirt?!! I couldn't tell him how much I LOVE him and especially Firefly?!!?!?! I COULDN'T THINK OF A SINGLE THING TO SAY TO HIM/?!?!?!!?!!!?!!?!??!?!???!??!?!!!! AUGHGHGHGHGGHGHHHHHHHHHHHHLKJAEOIAEFLKJDF!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Guys. To this day I am still not over that moment. I choked. Plain and simple. And it kills me. It keeps me awake some nights. I love the man. I had dreamed about meeting him. I was right there, face to face with him. He shook my hand. He talked to me. And I couldn't come up with a single thing to say.

I disappointed myself that day. I failed that day. I still have a Firefly t-shirt (too small for me now) that is autographed by Nathan Fillion...but I missed my moment. I had a moment to be with Nathan Fillion, and I blew it.