"Secret Government Radios Malfunction?"

Updated: Apr 6, 2019


Exposition: OK first off I have a crazy imagination. Second, I am a writer. Third, I'm just weird, OK? But I have fun, and that's what counts. (Just please don't think I'm legit crazy or something.)


The Stories: Sometimes I hear things in my head that seem to come...not from me. On the weirdest night, as I was almost asleep, suddenly it was like I was picking up a radio station inside my head! I was hearing a sports broadcast about a baseball game. (I couldn't really pick out specifics, though.) I don't even like baseball! I never watch sports and rarely have anything much to do with sports. But there I was, lying in bed with a baseball game being broadcast play-by-play in my head. As soon as I realized how weird that was I woke myself up from my almost-asleep state and it immediately stopped. I still get weird noises and such in my head sometimes as I fall asleep, and I'm sure I'm dreaming or something, but it is fun to imagine otherwise!


(Story 2) So on rare occasions over the years I would sometimes get a sentence stuck in my head. Very random, completely unrelated to anything, and it would seem as if they popped into my head from someone else, or at least not from me. They would be very odd sentences, and sometimes really funny just for how odd they really were. Sometimes it would even feel as though a foreign voice was talking to me inside my own head. (No, I'm not schizophrenic or anything.) I never paid too much attention to them, until I realized that I thought they were funny and maybe other people would like to hear the weird and really random stuff that pops into my head. The next time a sentence popped into my head and stuck, I grabbed my phone and copied it down into my notepad. The sentence cut off. (They usually loop in my head for a while until I get sufficiently distracted.) I thought, "Huh. All I have to do is write it down and it stops bugging me. Nice." Not nice. I have never had another sentence pop into my head like that again. I kind of miss it! It was weird, but it was fun and random and a nice distraction sometimes. But now all I'm left with is my own voice and "You would really take a grown man's polenta platter?" on a lonely note on my phone...


Conclusion: Government spies obviously have secret radios that allow them to communicate telepathically. Just in case though they always talk in code. That was a smart move apparently, since their radios got a leak and I started picking up on their coded telepathic transmissions. They didn't realize until I wrote down one of their code phrases on my phone, (which they were monitoring cause, duh, government spies), at which point they immediately cut off all telepathic communications until the leak could be patched up and the "line" could be fixed.


Final Review: 2 out of 5 stars. Y'all need to fix your stuff!